The new AOL Search, it’s just a skin over Google

In matching the AOL.com Beta 3, our companies Match -> Emulate -> Plagiarize – > strategy seems to be to copy the industry leaders, beg them to brand our name onto their products, and then hope it saves our dying ass. We have supplied a quick scenario for you:

AOL: “Google, O’ great search engine (in a tiny humble voice) please let us put your logo on our site so we look like we aren’t dying.”

Google: “Very well then, you bloated, maggot filled dross, the bell will soon toll for you. But until then, feel free to place your logo on our site and claim it as your own search. Everyone kisses up to us, but that doesn’t mean they are us, it just means they exist off of our nut crust.”

To give them credit, this is what search should have never been like. Yeah, Google allowed AOL to leech off its teets , and the Google logo IS larger (uh oh), but then again, AOL is just trying to turn their hourglass upside down, and besides, the 1 billion they spent on this just prevents it’s useless male CEOs from taking limo rides to shop at Frederick’s of Hollywood for lingerie and assorted female clothing.

To give the search team some credit they’ve already improved the page with the sign in screen. When you go to sign in on the gadget (That’s a term for Boxley, which is just an Internet Explorer skin) it keeps you on the page, Google does redirect to Google Accounts, which is an expected page load that makes me say “Me hates it” (I have a little Gollum in me from the last time we made love in his Misty Mountain hovel).

Working on that same concept is the menu. While it’s basically the same as Google there is no “I’m feeling lucky”, because, again this is just an AOL logo on a stripped down Google site; not the real deal (the amount of nut crust they will give us is limited). The last thing I need to do is Google search for “she is going out with other males”, hit “I’m feeling lucky” and hit a website about Sex swings so you can have sex like a spider monkey (for example) – plus I never use that feature.

Also the button to search is at the end of the text box, so if I’m copying and pasting into the text field I can keep going left -> right without moving backwards (Total quirk I know). This is especially helpful for developmentally challenged individuals.